Protecting the yard from Fido

"So you went out in search of a sweet, friendly Fido, and it turns out you came home with destructo-dog. He wore ruts in the grass alongside your garage (his favorite pathway to his poop spot). He devoured your prized petunias, and then — after you replaced the petunias with rosebushes, hoping the thorns would serve as self-defense for the beautiful buds — he ate those, too."

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